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Wednesday, September 20th, 2006

Subject:Boys for Pele
Posted by:chidder.
Time:8:35 am.
Mood: eager to write.

What the hell. Tuesday's musings about Under the Pink got me thinking about all things Tori. Even though I haven't physically put on one of her CDs in years, it's comforting knowing that they're up there, boxed away in the attic, awaiting that day when I cannot go another minute without hearing a musical version of an Alice Walker book or a song about having tea with the devil. Which brings us to Boys for Pele, about which I wrote in 1996:

Because she rides her harpsichord as if it were an unbroken stallion. Because she continues to cultivate her gift for conjuring up musical mood and narrative that hang together and mean something while logically making little or no sense whatsoever. And because the photo in the CD booklet of her suckling a piglet transcends mere questions about bad taste and raises loftier ones about who knows what. 

Her third album proves F. Scott Fitzgerald right when he observed: “To most women art is a form of scandal.” 

Further cultivating her public image as freak extraordinaire, she employs lyrics as disturbing as “Sometimes you’re nothing but meat” and “I shaved every place where you been." She seems incapable of not putting her credibility -- first as an artist, then as a woman -- on the line. She again scores admirably on both counts. 

(Seek out the "Hey Jupiter" CD single for the "Dakota Version" of the song. Industrializing -- as much as a piano number can be industrialized -- and improving on the Boys for Pele take by adding some nifty background noise that might be a sump pump or a Jarvik-7 artificial heart, it now sounds like something out of a David Lynch film. Included among the four live cuts is a delicate rendition of the tune Amos was born to sing and which presaged her very existence, “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”)

[;]//drink tea by her side\

Monday, September 18th, 2006

Subject:Under the Pink
Posted by:chidder.
Time:10:22 am.
Mood: accomplished.

Listening to a recent interview with Tori Amos on Studio 360, I was reminded of (a) what a good interview she makes, (b) this 1994 album, and (c) how many of her songs pose musical questions:

Why do we crucify ourselves?

Don't you want more than my sex?

God, sometimes You just don't come through
Do You need a woman to look after You?

For Amos, who was 31 years old when Under the Pink was released, the creative process represented as much an act of confession as it did an act of discovery. "Without the songs I wouldn't know that I feel what I feel," she told me in a telephone interview. "Let me tell you," she confided in a wispy voice, "sometimes I can go, 'I hate that motherfucker,' and I'll rip up his picture. Right? Then I'll start writing this song, this most beautiful--" Catching herself, she laughed and said to herself, "Oh god, you're just a sap."

And a successful one, at that. Her 1992 debut solo album for Atlantic Records, Little Earthquakes, revealed a bent for idiosyncratic lyrics, loopy melodies, and neoclassical keyboard work. It went gold in the US and sold more than a million copies worldwide. The follow-up album, Under the Pink, made its maiden landing at number twelve on the Billboard charts.

Born Myra Ellen Amos in North Carolina, her life from that point onward was atypical at best. A child prodigy who won a piano scholarship to Baltimore's prestigious Peabody Conservatory when she was five, she grew up listening to the music of Nat King Cole and Fats Waller and Jimi Hendrix and John Lennon. She was expelled when she was eleven. Her father, a strict Methodist preacher who believed you either support or lose your child, didn't stand in her way when, at the age of thirteen, she hit the piano bar circuit. At the Marriott, they made her play "Send in the Clowns" seven times a night. At Mr. Henry's, a popular gay bar in Washington, DC, the waiters used a cucumber to teach her how to give head.

All these daffily disparate ingredients -- combined with the sad truth that somewhere along the way she was raped and lived to sing about it on her own fruitcaky terms without reducing herself to martyrdom ("Yes, I wore a slinky red thing/Does that mean I should spread/for you, your friends, your father, Mr. Ed?") -- converge to create songs that are not about blame, but about taking responsibility.

Amos refused to take responsibility, however, for Womanhood or the feminist movement at large, an agenda that many critics (music and social) famously tried to foist upon her.

"I guess I'm kind of boring because I just go about my biz trying to work on myself. When I'm working and listening to my real feelings about things, and trusting them, then I just have to allow that to be enough. Whether I say something that offends somebody or gives somebody a giggle--" She paused. "You have to let go of the responsibility of people's responses. Sometimes I'll say things that I might not have said if I would have had more sleep. But, at the same time, that's real, too."

Between her first two solo albums, she released a hushed and breathtaking cover of Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit." When I asked if she felt any sort of psychic connection with Kurt Cobain (who had just committed suicide a few months earlier), she replied, "Totally." In the silence that followed, she whispered the word twice more.

“I think it could’ve gone either way for a while,” she commented on another singer/songwriter’s theory that, if left alone to deal with his demons away from the limelight, Cobain might still be alive. “If he would’ve been on medication for the depression. Put all the emotional stuff aside -- it’s hard enough waking up every morning -- it’s just that you’re a depressive and you have a chemical imbalance.”

Aware of life’s little imbalances, Amos found it difficult to take her fame too seriously. She knew from experience that there were worse alternatives. “Like, we have no idea what it’s like to live in Belfast with those people killing each other,” she said. When she had toured there recently, she'd done so with the reality of bomb scares and a guard at her dressing room door. Because of her name, in the demented minds of some of the more radical Irish there existed a connection between her and the Tories and their principles. “And my whole religious position," she said wearily, "blah, blah, blah. In Ireland, I always get a bit of a stink because I tell them that the Virgin Mary swallowed, and they don't like that shit."

She stopped reading reviews of her work. "It didn't make me feel good. You read the great ones, you've got to read the shitty ones. If you're going to walk into the 'opinion world,' then you have to listen to them from all sides. And I'm just not in the mood. I know when I suck and I know when I'm great. Grade me that all the elements came together, and it didn't overcook and it didn't undercook. You know, I got the baby out of the oven just in time."

Speaking of bad reviews, I mentioned the heavy-metal band that Amos fronted when she came to Hollywood in the late Eighties, called Y Kant Tori Read? While she could no longer worm her way into the plastic snakeskin pants that, along with thigh-high boots and big hair, that had contributed to her mode of dress at the time -- and contrary to most of what had been written about this period in her career (most likely because it wasn't something her more ardent feminist fans wanted to hear) -- she giggled and admitted, "Hey, I enjoyed some of it. I had great hair spray. Looking back, I was coming out of my skin as a person." Before the band, "I was so miserable. My jaw was in a constant clinch mode."

It was also a learning experience. "I have no illusions about this business. Not one. That's why I think I'm doing so well. When I say 'doing well,' I mean I don't cancel shows, I'm not jumping out of windows. That doesn't mean that it doesn't sometimes wear on me and I want to crawl into the corner with a friend."

Though she had no trouble getting down to brass tacks when it came to the business side of her music, the act of songwriting remained something of a magical mystery to her. Despite her professionalism, it wasn't something she could force to happen. "If the songs don't show up knocking on my door, bringing a bottle of chardonnay or a box of shoes, I can't even think about it. It's like they already exist, and I get a whiff of their perfume and I get inside of their essence and what they're trying to tell me. They show up, showing me who they are, and then I'm trying to translate their feelings. Sometimes I don't do a very good job, and they come back and harass me until I do."
[;]//drink tea by her side\

Tuesday, May 31st, 2005

Posted by:hetakesher.
Time:10:46 pm.
hello everybody,

i just came across this community and it looks like a pretty cool Tori community, so i thought i would join. she is such a goddess!
i just made this journal but im not new to livejournal :]
so, if you like come take a look...
people who like tori are badass!
2 //knew it was a girl\ [;]//drink tea by her side\

Sunday, March 27th, 2005

Subject:Oh no Tori, no more pills, I dont want to live forever!
Posted by:inlovewithtori.
Time:2:50 pm.

got any English muffins? and not the queer cinnamon-raisin crap


Ever hear of 'Far Too Gone'  Its' about some dude who thinks he's Tori Amos and his gothic slut girlfriend
"Malaise". He starts flipping out on
everyone, it's quite grotesque in the same way 'Sense and Sensibility' was.
seriously I'm a huge fan. I have several fetishes, but besides that, surprisingly

I thought
you'd be interested in checkin it out. I hope you like it yo

bye now (kisses)

[;]//drink tea by her side\

Saturday, February 19th, 2005

Posted by:___nazicar.
Time:5:15 pm.
If this isn't allowed, just simply delete this post.

Join __toriamos
[;]//drink tea by her side\

Tuesday, January 25th, 2005

Posted by:___nazicar.
Time:10:18 pm.
Hello. My name is Greta & I just joined. I love Tori!
4 //knew it was a girl\ [;]//drink tea by her side\

Tuesday, January 18th, 2005

Subject:Tori Amos's New Album "The Beekeeper"
Posted by:xthebeekeeperx.
Time:10:24 pm.

Wednesday, November 24th, 2004

Posted by:babycleo.
Time:5:59 pm.
I have a massive Tori lot on ebay right now and hoped it would be of interest to some ppl here! You can find it here
Hope you don't mind me posting this.... it's on topic (sorta..!)
[;]//drink tea by her side\

Monday, October 18th, 2004

Posted by:i_am_ruined.
Time:12:38 pm.
[;]//drink tea by her side\

Saturday, August 21st, 2004

Subject:My First Tori Concert
Posted by:preciousthings7.
Time:6:13 pm.
Mood: excited.
So..it has officially been one year and 2 weeks since my very first Tori Amos concert. I was not home to write this on the one month anniversary so here is my story.

One year ago my cousin Brandon gave me my ticket to go see Tori Amos in concert in Detroit a week later. I screamed and jumped for joy in the crowded airport with people i didn't know staring at me. Anyways, now im so excited and can't wait for Friday to come around. The week goes on at the cottage we are staying at on Lake Michigan, and on comes Wednesday. Little did we know, there had been a huge blackout in lower Michigan, New York and some other places. So A friend of Brandons calls us at the cottage and asks if weve heard about the blackout. Which now because of him calling us we have. Brandon and i were praying to God that the concert wouldnt had been canceld. We waited and waited for news on the web about our concert, little did we know it had been postponed until Monday and i was leaving for California on Sunday. (Convienient? no) So..Brandon and I thinking that the concert is still playing, drove down to his apartment and found out that it was postponed. But the crazy Tori fans that we are remembered that she was playing in Cleveland on Saturday. So we went to the mall and got two tickets, then we hung around with Phil his friend and got food at the Fleetwood Diner, and had fun. Then we drove to my aunts house at like 11 30 and then went to the Tori Concert Saturday. It ended up being AMAZING! It was not only my first Tori concert but my first concert ever! With my favorite person in the world! She played all my fav songs except Sugar, but other than that, it was just breath-taking and just just jaw dropping, it couldnt have been more perfect. Our seats were way better for that show (22nd row back, dead center) and omg it was perfect! Crazy Tori fans dancing in the aisles, and me and B. rockin out!

So there is my story, give me feedback if you'd like.

3 //knew it was a girl\ [;]//drink tea by her side\

Tuesday, July 13th, 2004

Posted by:cruelgirl820.
Time:8:12 am.
Mood: I love my Tori!! :).
I just joined here and It's nice to find such a beautiful community.It nice to have a community that's so spiritual.I have been a fan of Tori for about tens years now, and I can't even begin to express how much she has helped me in my life.The very first time I heard Tori was the night I was raped when I had turned sixteen.I had come home after it was over ,(after walking through the empty streets for several hours in the early morning)I had went and sat in my dark room and felt completely numb.I didn't know what else to do so I turned on the radio and kept thinking about how I wnted to end my life.Just then this song came on with this girl w/ a beautiful voice.I remeber ,as numb as I was I sat up listened for some reason.Just then the song said something that snapped me out of my numbness...she said your just an empty cage girl if you kill the bird.At that minute I burst in to tears.I knew that by ending my life I would accomplish absolutly nothing.This woman was right,except at the time I had no idea who she was.So after a few minutes I got up and called the radio station and asked who she was.They told me her name was Tori Amos.I said how much i LOVED her voice and honesty and they said she definatly was a strong person to have overcome all that she did.I had no clue as to what was meant by that and then he told me he had respect for her for overcoming a rape by someone.I was floored,I could not believe I had been introduced to this womans amazing talent by being through something like that.It struck me as something that was meant to be.Like I had to be introduced to her to get through what I went through.The next day,someone gave me Little earthquakes,and I listened to the album and just sat and cried so much.As painful as it was,the whole thing was like a healing process.I thank god everyday that I have Tori in my life to get me through my times of sadness and heart ache.I honestly don't know what would have happened to me if she had not come to my life whens she did.This is just one of millions of reasons I love her more than anything.
5 //knew it was a girl\ [;]//drink tea by her side\

Tuesday, December 30th, 2003

Subject:I need to let this out before it kills me further
Posted by:sacrificedtruth.
Time:9:19 pm.
Its funny how easily a heart can break. Or maybe we just don't notice how much damage a person is doing to it and how hard it fought back. I would listen to Tori and try to endure the pain he was putting me through. Give me strength Tori... just give me strength and maybe he'll change

I sat on the ledge once with him in front of me, and I tear up. He asked what was wrong and I forgot all my words. I could only find lyrics...

you're right next to me
but i need an airplane
i can feel the DISTANCE
as you breathe

... and he'd just look at me upset because I wasn't telling him what was wrong. Then I have that voice in my head yelling at him "YOU SHOULD KNOW!", but I'd just smile "oh its nothing."

maybe i'm just the horizon you run to
when she has left
you and me here
alone on the floor
hey, do you know
hey, do you know
what this is doing to me?
oh, here...
here. in my head

I was exactly that horizon you run to when she has left. I'd be there when he got tired and went looking for something elsewhere... with someone else. Then he'd come back when there was nothing else out there in the world for him. Heh and you know sometimes these things happen and you forgive and let go. We are all good Christians here... only not *sighs* but after a few times I don't know what religion I'm following anymore. Oh well I was never religious to begin with.

So maybe people stop loving? Lets move on... NO I'M NOT READY FOR THAT. you've left me here... what am I supposed to do?

look i'm standing naked before you
don't you want more than my sex
i could just pretend that you love me
the night would lose all sense of fear
but why do i need you to love me
when you can't hold what i hold dear

Of course he didn't want anything but that. I was always boring and over-complicated... too uptight... too serious. Oh but I had nice breasts. There is just so much more... *sighs*
6 //knew it was a girl\ [;]//drink tea by her side\

Monday, December 22nd, 2003

Subject: i'm still alive
Posted by:sacrificedtruth.
Time:9:46 pm.
Mood: calm.
I didn't expect it to be the best trip. Trips and visits with my dad's family never ended well, yet people never stopped pushing for them. We started driving north and I saw the Exit 75 sign and of course thought of "Hotel", but just placed it in my think bank and enjoyed the ride. I loved the roads.

The trip progressed and it became a series of "Concertina" moments.

["Do you ever feel like you walk in a room, and you don't know why, but you're just so uncomfortable you're crawling out of your skin, even though nobody's touched you, physically? That's in Concertina, when you feel like you haven't excavated enough of your different personalities that when one pops up, you're not sure where it came from, and you try to hack it out of yourself. It shocks you that you could have this kind of fault, or that other people could bring it out in you."
-- Tori; A.P. Magazine, Oct 99]

I remembered the sign. I had to get back to it. It was the only way to make this feeling go away I convinced myself. I repeated the lines:

exit 75
i'm still alive
i'm still alive
i'm still alive

After a few days we were back on the road. South we went and finally I saw the sign again. I was still alive. I wasn't quite home yet, but I was alive.
6 //knew it was a girl\ [;]//drink tea by her side\

Friday, December 19th, 2003

Subject:I'm new...
Posted by:i_am_ruined.
Time:5:07 pm.
Hi, I just joined! I am a HUGE Tori Amos fan. I didn't have room to write her on my interests list. I can only write 150 interests. My fav. CD of all time is "From the choirgirl hotel".
4 //knew it was a girl\ [;]//drink tea by her side\

Saturday, November 15th, 2003

Posted by:sacrificedtruth.
Time:1:40 pm.
Mood: sick.
Tori inspired sketch

click clickCollapse )

Just thought I'd share. I always have a main Tori song I'm learning from at any given time. Are you guys the same in any way? What Tori song has been with you lately? For me it's been "Seaside", I like the feeling of innocence and it helps me with certain things going on in my life. Growing up and all that jazz.
2 //knew it was a girl\ [;]//drink tea by her side\

Sunday, November 9th, 2003

Subject:College essays
Posted by:lindskaba.
Time:6:41 pm.
Mood: happy.
Hey all :)

I, too, am new to this community, but just a LITTLE bit old. I'm 17 and applying to colleges. But Tori has really been my inspiration for a long time...probably about 6 or 7 years. I adore her. I've written several times in my livejournal that if I could meet one celebrity in the entire world, it would be her, and possibly any person in the world. It's also a joke between my friends and I that Tori may be my 1% homosexuality factor ::grins::

Anyway, as I said, I'm applying to college. And for Boston University, one of the questions was, "Describe something that is important to you, something that has greatly affected your life" or something to that extent. So...I wrote about Tori. I think the essay came out really nice, and I wanted to post it to maybe get some feedback :) Keep in mind that I DID want to say more, but unfortunately the essay was limited to 500 words.


It’s interesting, the things about our lives that we remember. Sometimes we have tools to aid us in recollection, such as a faded photograph clumsily tucked into a plastic album, or an article of clothing long since forgotten lost in the back of the closet. The people in those photographs who wore those old clothes, they are shadows of a time that seems beyond my reach, but for me, those people and that time can be resurrected with the golden honey of a fire-haired goddesses’ voice. It may be that giving a recording artist the title of “goddess” seems a bit inappropriate to most people, but to me, that title is most deserved.
From the moment I heard my first Tori Amos song, I knew I was in love. She was unique, poetic, enigmatic, harsh, yet tender. She was beautiful. Something about her words and haunting melodies touched my soul, and their paint still stains my heart. Other musicians have come and gone, but only Tori remains to touch with intrusive fingers my every unreachable corner.
As I became more and more engrossed in Tori’s music, it became more involved in my life. Years trickled away, like water droplets on a windowpane. Like rainwater, time evaporated, leaving me with nothing but my golden memories, yearbook signatures, and a stack of photographs. But what time has taken, Tori returns. Her penetrating lyrics and tantalizing tunes bring me back to my past. I have come to associate nearly every one of Tori’s songs with a particular moment in my life, and by listening to that song, I am returned to that moment and am able to experience it over again as if anew. Each song recalls a different, powerful emotion within me, an emotion that seems somehow familiar yet which cannot be placed, and I am again at a time in my life days, months, or even years before.
I have been to four Tori Amos concerts. At the most recent, Tori, performing for a small crowd under the open starlight of an amphitheatre, laid her digits over the keys and produced “Jackie’s Strength,” a song that I had never heard live before. I stopped applauding. I stopped moving. I think I even stopped breathing as I stared in awe at the stage, suspended in a moment of ecstasy. I still can’t explain the surge of emotions I felt that night; they felt old, nostalgic, from a sad time long ago; I don’t remember when. Before I knew it, salt was sliding slowly down my cheek, stinging my eyes and painting my face red. I was moved, absolutely moved, and I can’t even explain why. But it doesn’t matter.
The passage of time is something we can never halt. Yet there are things we can find, such as a familiar aroma or, in my case, a haunting song, that sends us back in its course. Tori Amos is my goddess; she has the power to stop my time just for a brief moment and transport me back anywhere in my life, simply with the flick of a finger across the piano keys or a soft murmur of poetry from her lips.
6 //knew it was a girl\ [;]//drink tea by her side\

Posted by:sacrificedtruth.
Time:3:50 pm.
Mood: good.
I just joined this community and wanted to say hello. I discovered Tori about 3-4 years ago and from then she's been guiding me through life ever since. Her words have helped me discover myself and the beauty of the world around me. I always enjoy her music, but there are moments in life when they really come alive. For example the song "Hotel", From The Choirgirl Hotel was the first album I ever purchased by Tori so obviously I had heard that song countless times and just now on a recent trip to Orlando it sprung to life and took on a whole new meaning for me. I guess that happens as you grow as a person.

I'm rather young (15), so I look forward to growing and further understanding life and Tori's music. Thats all for now *waves*
4 //knew it was a girl\ [;]//drink tea by her side\

Tuesday, October 14th, 2003

Subject:hi..im new..,<3
Posted by:teasemykitty101.
Time:12:32 am.
Mood:deliously excited...
Is tori amos coming out with a new record?
I just saw an advertising for "tales of a Libarian to be released nov. 18..but I cj
hecked it out on her website and didn't see anything.
1 //knew it was a girl\ [;]//drink tea by her side\

Saturday, August 23rd, 2003

Posted by:ravenousnight.
Time:2:26 pm.
Mood: happy.
I had a dream that I was going to see a movie in a mall, and someone said that Tori was next door. I took that to mean that they were doing something in honor of Tori. In a matter of seconds, I see Tori, bells chime, and I say "hi". My eyes are wide as I stand there in disbelief. She returns the greeting, and then asks me my name. I reply and she writes it down on this form-like piece of paper. Then, she tells me to write down my hair color and height. After that, she and I start talking. She asks me to show her around the area and then take her to a party. She even danced with me right there.

I was glowing with Tori goodness when I woke up. : )
[;]//drink tea by her side\

Friday, August 22nd, 2003

Posted by:madbjorkboi.
Time:1:33 am.
Mood: peaceful.
5:35 PM EST this afternoon tori will turn 40! wherever you are, stop and wish tori a little 40th birthday greeting, and have a little moment of silence and love for tori. she's entering a new era......

then post where you all were when tori turned exactly 40!
1 //knew it was a girl\ [;]//drink tea by her side\

LiveJournal for Tori-ism.

View:User Info.
View:Website (hear. in my head).
You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.