standing like john wayne (sacrificedtruth) wrote in tori_ism,
standing like john wayne

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I need to let this out before it kills me further

Its funny how easily a heart can break. Or maybe we just don't notice how much damage a person is doing to it and how hard it fought back. I would listen to Tori and try to endure the pain he was putting me through. Give me strength Tori... just give me strength and maybe he'll change

I sat on the ledge once with him in front of me, and I tear up. He asked what was wrong and I forgot all my words. I could only find lyrics...

you're right next to me
but i need an airplane
i can feel the DISTANCE
as you breathe

... and he'd just look at me upset because I wasn't telling him what was wrong. Then I have that voice in my head yelling at him "YOU SHOULD KNOW!", but I'd just smile "oh its nothing."

maybe i'm just the horizon you run to
when she has left
you and me here
alone on the floor
hey, do you know
hey, do you know
what this is doing to me?
oh, here...
here. in my head

I was exactly that horizon you run to when she has left. I'd be there when he got tired and went looking for something elsewhere... with someone else. Then he'd come back when there was nothing else out there in the world for him. Heh and you know sometimes these things happen and you forgive and let go. We are all good Christians here... only not *sighs* but after a few times I don't know what religion I'm following anymore. Oh well I was never religious to begin with.

So maybe people stop loving? Lets move on... NO I'M NOT READY FOR THAT. you've left me here... what am I supposed to do?

look i'm standing naked before you
don't you want more than my sex
i could just pretend that you love me
the night would lose all sense of fear
but why do i need you to love me
when you can't hold what i hold dear

Of course he didn't want anything but that. I was always boring and over-complicated... too uptight... too serious. Oh but I had nice breasts. There is just so much more... *sighs*
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